He gives me a little lift every time I look at him. I haven’t felt this way about an artefact since I bought a cuckoo clock. That too perked me up on the hour every hour for a year or more, until one day it caught me at the wrong moment. I swore terribly, switched off the cuckooing function, and it’s not cuckooed since. Shallow of me, I know, but with Bert it’s different. With Bert it’s for life.